Pants Not Required

#22 - I blame Sony

- Before leaving for the Bank, Blithe goes to collect supplies from the Assassins guild. Poison kit and such. Assassin’s Guild merchant offers a deal. The supplies for the death of a debter. Blithe agrees and regroups with the rest of the misfits.

- Along the way to the Bank a merchant is spotted having a heated argument with a large man. Man needs 7 pounds of salt, merchant claims it would be hard to get and would charge him 700g for it.

- Large man is going on an expedition up north, heading for the edge of the world. He leaves in a week. For one reason or another the group agrees to join him. But first, the bank!

- The tour of the Bank starts at the docks. Last line of defense, many boats are in the harbour with guards living upon them, ready to be called at any time. Also…probably sea monsters.

- Bank has clearly been cleaned from top to bottom since the last visit. Although the bank was rather clean before it now shines like it’s brand new.

- Group is lead to the underground lobby. 4 doors enter this room. Behind each door is a separate wing, each wing has different rules and houses different things.
- The northern wing is controlled solely by the bank, mostly loans.
- East has only one vault, the taxes of the Capital are collected here.
- South is personal effects, deposit boxes for jewels and heirlooms.
- West is none of their concern

- Harvey Birdman is given the key to their vault, simple, bronze. They are all lead to the vault, it requires two keys to open. One the harvey carries the other that the bank carries. Their vault contains a large sum of gold.

- The tour guide assures them that the bank is completely secure. They haven’t had any break ins in over 20 years. Back then the security was not as extensive.

- Sony’s E3 conference interrupted us with the Last Guardian and it all went down(or up) hill from there

#21 - Timey Wimey


- Before leaving, Volanna notices the jewel pendant given to her from the Wind in the Wings has become quite warm. She has the Wizard Book analyze what might be causing it to act up. The jewel is meant to fix mistakes, a lot of timey wimey business. The holder can go back in time.

- Too many questions, time running out, Volanna holds pendant and says “oops,” she watches as everyone goes back in time around her. The Prince returns, the conversation resets and time starts just before Entany reveals the location of the will. Volanna interrupts and tries to steer everyone out of the room. No one questions how she teleported behind the prince.

- The Prince is getting annoyed by no one telling him anything after Volanna declares they leave. He begins throwing some vague threats to them. The group is unphased. Threatens they’d have to fight half is army, meh. Other half of army is in Galeforge fighting the Goblins.

- Prince doesn’t trust his brother to rule. Turns out he doesn’t like magic users. Entany becomes hostile towards his views on magic. She even turns into a duplicate of the Prince, he claims all magic is just smoke and mirrors.

- Suddenly Reginald remembers he has the bell to summon Tim. For no reason he rings it. Suddenly the room is filled with a blinding light, then darkness. Everything in the room, furniture, food and the people are in a new place. What appears to be a throne room.

- Sitting cross legged on a throne is Tim, says bringing them here was easier. He’s busy. Galeforge was a peaceful annexation, lots to sort out afterwards.

- Blithe makes a move to kill the Prince while he’s unguarded and away from his army. Reginald stops him.

- Tim talks down to Entany a bit. Karma.

- Tim starts negotiations with Prince. Wants to be a City State. Leave with army or die. They make a deal. The Goblin City State will be as such for 1% taxes. Prince states that for more they could be provided protection.

- Prince leaves with the guards that were summoned to him. He offers a reward for collecting the will of his father. Group now have deals from both brothers for the will.

- Group gets to have free food at the Green dragon as long as they are hunting the will. Tim sends the whole group back to the Capital. Turns out it was an illusion they never really left.

- At the Green Dragon a goblin brings them a message. This goblin is Tim’s Spy Master. He has a great deal of knowledge about the bank. Vaults are just teleportation rooms, the real treasures are located far away buried under miles of earth.

- Group plans on going to see their new vault in the morning. Can learn who carries the master set of keys and then plan to take them.

Will the group find a way to split the party? Will Volanna every tell them she can travel through time? Better yet, how much can she abuse this power before the world collapses from too many alternate realities?

#20 - Waiting...


- Along the way to see the Prince, Entany writes in the book. Writing the Wind in the Wings makes the symbol appear, writing Reginald’s name shows his name, age, networth. Google Book.

- Reach the gate, only gate they’ve seen that’s really closed. Only nobles allowed. Convince the guards that laywers, an Elven noble and a spiritual advisor were also allowed.

- Courtyard is full of cherry blossom trees despite it being the wrong time of year for them, really good expensive garden constantly keeping up appearances of the castle.

- Enter a side building. Appears to be a council room, full of chairs and a large meeting table. Left alone in the room, Blithe finds maps and such, locations of the Kings and allies forces, Entanty writes them in the book. Book autofills some information in. Scary smart book.

- After an hour 3 men arrive, say prince will be with them soonTM
- Get some food, find out some information from the men, have never really seen the King but are completely devoted. King hasn’t left the castle in years, men believe he’s busy the group secretly know he’s dead. Men leave.

- After more waiting, 3 different men arrive and guide them to another room, looks the same as before but is located in the castle and has a nice view of the Capital. This is the Prince’s Council Chambers.

- Men keep saying the Prince will be there soonTM. They get dessert. Reginald gets restless and trashes room. Everytime he breaks something a different person appears to replace it. Entany joins in commotion. Reginald also abuses the clap system for servants. Servants mock him.

- Another hour goes by. Hear a commotion in the courtyard, can’t see it, ends quickly. 3rd set of men appears, surprised they are still here. leave. Reginald opens door, men are talking about whether or not the Prince is in town. He probably is.

- 4th set of men appear, now introducing your prince! Wait forever as the Prince walks along a very long hall way. Reginald draws sword and runs to Prince. Guards panic slghtly, Reginald just wants an autograph.

- Prince doesn’t know why he’s here. Entany suggests that all the nobles should leave. Prince doesn’t get it. After some talk Reginald blurts out the question “Yeah but isn’t the King dead?” Prince is now interested in how they know this. Entany tells them basically everything they know, but doesn’t say where they got the information from.

- Prince turns to Reginald for information about the other prince. Harvey tries to deflect, threatened with being turned into a meal.

- Of course King is dead, it’s not a good time to tell everyone. When the time is right the public will be informed. Volanna mentions that whenever they announce it, no one has to see the body, it would be a perfect cover up.

- Really waiting for Brother to die, Wizards are untrustworthy. Entany argues, Wesley turns back on Prince and says that he clearly doesn’t care. Entany asks why will is in bank. Prince had no idea where it was. Quickly ends meeting, has some banking to do. Offers Wesley and Volanna jobs if they wish, the others he wants gone. Leaves.

- Reginald is sad that the Prince is kind of a dick

- Frantic chase time, group leaves out the door and try to get ahead of the Prince. Harvey jumps from the window and begins gliding towards the gate and to the bank. Sees the Prince’s men gathering horses in a rush.

#19 - Business Business Business


Wandering the Capital, Wesley finds himself in a district of various temples. Considering his recent run ins with death it’s made himself consider more about his life. Along the street there is a great temple with a mighty hammer above the door. The Temple of Justice. He is greeted by a cleric when he walks in and declares that he wishes to be a Sword of the Faith. The Cleric tells him that Swords of Faith may only carry a sword crafted by the temples blacksmiths. And as it happens the last of them have been stolen. They have a magic tracking system in place but they cannot reach it. It sits in the Silver Bank. The bank that serves all of the Capital, sitting on an island in the bay. If Wesley can retrieve the sword he would prove his worth to the gods of Justice.

He reunites with the rest of the group at the Sleazy Penguin, a quiet bar not three doors down from the Green Dragon. After Reginald returns hauling a beer keg on his shoulder the group discuss their plans for the goal of breaking into the Silver Bank.

In the morning, they also set into motion Reginald’s dream of owning two competing parcel delivery companies. Along with Ser On Ri, Georgy McGuard and Percival they create “Ye Olde Federation Ex” & “United Percival Service” as if on que, Harvey Birdman, “greatest lawyer around” appears. There are a lot of papers to deal with to get these businesses going. The group comes to the conclusion that they can use the excuse of a business loan to get into the bank to get a better idea of what they are dealing with.

Late morning they board a bank owned ferry to cross the bay. In the distance a large windowless building looms. When they arrive on the island they are surprised to see no guards outside, only a single gate that was open. Walking up to the only door they can find, Blithe tries to open it, nothing. He knocks. A flurry of gears and mechanical noises can be heard on the other side of the door. After a moment, the door swings open to reveal the inside of the Silver Bank. The floors and walls are both made of a green stone, polished smooth. There is some light but little else in the room. At the far end of the corridor sits a large table, made of similar stone to the building. At it, was another Aacokkora, his feathers the colours of a magpie. To either side of him were two guards, both armed but not interested in the group currently.

Harvey declares that his clients are in need of a loan for their new business, both of which have proven to make money already. The teller looks at them, considers and says he will collect the loan manager. Once he leaves the group starts to look around, trying to find any weak points. Harvey Birdman is incredibly lawful by nature, but he is also a lawyer. While he stands facing the desk he cannot see or confirm what the rest of the group was doing. They find two doorways, one leads to stairs going up the other down. The teller returns with a young Dwarf, the loan manager. He gestures to them to follow him to the offices upstairs. Passing the other doorway reveals that the stairs going down spiral away into darkness.

The office is bright despite having no windows or obvious light source. Harvey Birdman argues with the loan manager to little effect. The bank will give them the loan in return for 20% of the company and 15% interest on the $10,000. Tomorrow they may return to the bank to investigate the vault in which they will keep all future earnings. There is talk about the security of these vaults, many creatures live in it’s depths protecting investments and savings.

Back outside the group boards another ferry and are surprised to see the ferryman is now the Wind in the Wings himself. Apparently he had to flee Galeforge rather quickly after a band of newly freed Goblins started attacking in the name of war. He finally gives his gift to Reginald, a cape, one to match his armor the group had long wished he had forgotten about. It’s a lovely cape, royal blue and trimmed in fur. Many having forgotten about the gifts he gave them asked again what they might do with them. Wesley resets the watches time. Despite it being reset one of the numbers still points to ‘0’ The Wind suggests that he checks it when he feels trapped. Entany pulls out the blank journal, writes her name and watches as it disappears into the pages. The Wind reminds them again once they reach the shore “Check them when you feel trapped”

Look at all this progress! Will this group plan out a proper bank heist of go straight to it with no plan?

#18 - Do you have a reservation?


Right from the gate the group can see that the Capital lives up to its name having all manner of people within it’s walls. The city is large, twice the size of Galeforge, large enough that it has been separated into five rings, each with large gates keeping each section of the city protected. The closer to the centre of the city the richer the area. They begin walking along the city streets and start working their way to the third tier. Along the way the group talk about wanting this new fancy bar more than the other small bar. If they could change the ownership here why not to them instead? Nearing the 3rd tier the group sees a large crowd, all walking in the same direction, there is an air of excitement among them. Our group of misfits follows along, wondering where everyone is headed.

Meanwhile Blithe is pulled off to the side by a mysterious person who asks if he has a dagger for him. When Blithe turns the blood stained dagger over, the figure inspects it, and in the blink of an eye it turns to gold. The gold returned to Blithe and the mysterious character is gone. Within the bag of gold was an address, presumably to The Assassins Guild. Right away he follows the streets along until he finds the Guild. He finds it, it looks like a regular shop. Inside Blithe immediately tries to take a hit out on the Dwarven brothers. Not going to happen. The Richer of the two pays all bounties, and the assassins rather like the younger one. Blithe is invited to take a look at the contracts they have available and is brought down to the basement where a large room is filled with books of contracts. He searches for a time, casually leafing through the pages of various books. All at once he stumbles on two interesting contracts. One for the Hand of the King, the other for Ser Reginald Barkley. Grabbing the two sheets of papers, Blithe returns to the main floor where he signs out the contracts. He steps out onto the street and tries to make his way back to the group.

The crowd has lead the group right where they wanted. The Green Dragon. The Inn/Bar is huge. It’s several storeys tall and spans a couple blocks. The crowd it seems is here to join in the waiting line. At the front of the steps sits an Elf, well dressed and well mannered. He’s turning most people away, asking that they get a reservation for the next time. Just behind the Elf are a pair of tough looking bouncers. One being the second largest Dwarf they have ever seen. Of course the group doesn’t have a reservation, but it doesn’t stop them from trying to get in. First they try to make a big scene that Reginald Barkley has returned to the Capitol. Entany tries to fast talk the other Elf, but to no avail. Only the King can show up uninvited, he has a table to himself but never shows. Next Wesley tries to imitate the Prince,The Wind in the Wings, hoping they could get the Kings table.. While his performance is good it’s not good enough to get past the Elf. Sick of trying foolish things, Volanna makes a reservation for the next night (under the expense of the Barkleys) and she wanders elsewhere looking for a drink. Off to the side of the Bar, The Prince can be seen going in a side door with his entourage of guards and servants.

Reginald makes one last attempt, bypassing the Elf and going straight for the door. He’s stopped by the Dwarven guard of course. He asks, and demands that he be let in. When that fails he offers the guard a good share in his new goods delivery business (that he hasn’t started yet) The Dwarf ponders, and then agrees, provided his lawyer approves. He lets Reginald inside as he goes to fetch his lawyer (who is also his brother.)

The Green Dragon is an impressive sight. Four floors are dedicated the bar alone. At the main bar on the first floor Reginald can see a very rich Dwarf having a good time, chatting with the patrons. Clearly the owner. In the background, Hugh Jackman has his own table, apparently he is actually very popular.

Reginald sits down and doesn’t receive his first drink by the time the guard returns with his brother. The Lawyer brother sits down with a decent sized book. The Contract. He begins speaking in heavy lawyer talk and Reginald tries to talk his way out of giving away too much of his new company (that could make him MILLIONS!) Suddenly a small Aarakocra dressed in a suit appears. “OBJECTION! Ok what am I objecting too?” Harvey Birdman is a long time Lawyer of the Barkleys. Luckily for Reginald he happened to be near by. He reads over the contract and secretly works away for Reginald to sign it but not have to give up the delivery company. At no point did he state what the company was to the Dwarves. After some more legal talk, Reginald was free to wander about. Upstairs he could see a large group of Royal Guards. The other Prince must be up there. Really wanting to meet his hero and savior, Reginald runs upstairs. The guards won’t let him pass here either, so Reginald tries to bargain with information about the other twin Prince. He gives some information to the guard and he leaves to talk to someone, maybe the Prince. Reginald waits for some time, when the guard returns it’s clear that the Prince has left. The guard wants to hear the rest of what he knows, Reginald refuses, only wanting to talk to the Prince himself. The guard gives in and tells him that the The Prince left a message, he would meet with Reginald tomorrow at his Royal Chambers to discuss what he knows of his twin.

Will the others actually get into the bar? Will they remember their reservation? Will Reginald tell all of their plans to the Prince? Probably. Whatever, Yay sleep over!

#17 - It's like magic!


Within the large shadowy room was a ring, about a metre in diameter and it looked to be made of steel. As the small group moved into the room random characters could be seen along the sides of the ring. Blithe pulls out his fire sword and touches one of the random characters. It reacted and begins to glow green, Hugh, who was unfortunately standing within the ring, vanishes with a flash of light. With excitement Blithe jumps into the ring and touches the same symbol with his sword and in the same light vanishes before Wesley’s eyes. Not wanting to end up who knows where without knowing more about this ring, Wesley goes to inform the rest of the party.

After finding the rest of the group in the newly claimed “Hall of the Saviors” the group debates on whether or not the pair should be left to their own on, they afterall (well maybe no Hugh) went through the magic light on purpose. Entany looks through one of the journals she collected from the tunnel system. From what she can see the ring is used as a fast teleportation system. It turns out the wizard really hated horses and set out to make a teleportation system to render horses useless. The particular character Blithe used would lead near to the Capitol. It’s decided that the group (minus Entany, she wanted a rest first) would go after Blithe and Hugh. Before they leave, Tim offers the group a squire. Percival, they were told, had many skills, some of which might actually be useful.

Along the trip to the tunnel system the group also picks up Ser On Ri, who of course had since sworn loyalty to Reginald. When they finally reach the room it looks just as it did before, empty with one ring in the middle. They enter the ring, some with hesitance, one touches the same character Blithe did. A bright flash, then they see nothing.

Blithe appears in a room that looks oddly similar to the one he was just in, the stone walls might be a different colour. Immediately he kicks in the only door in the room. He and Hugh walk out into a very crowded town. There are many folk walking around, carrying various things like bolts of cloth, building materials, food. Blithe takes note that no one looks poor, they would all appear to be a part of a working class, not rich but with enough to eat and a roof over their heads. Wandering up to the nearest person, Blithe asks an Orc carrying large planks of wood where he might be. The orc looks at him confused and asks how much he’s had to drink. Brighthaven is where they are, nearest town to the Capitol. Blithe starts the ruse that he’s a bit drunk and then asks for the nearest inn. Once he has the direction he stumbles off with Hugh to find The Green Egg.

Back at Goblintopia, Entany wakes from her trance and is startled to see that where there were lanterns in the room was now just darkness. As she begins to move she realizes she soaked, and it smells strangely of tea. After a quick spell to dry herself off, she says farewell to the Golbins and heads into the tunnels after the group. Once in the room with the ring she consults the book she carried, she was reasonably sure she remembered what character it was. With a touch of magic she see a blinding green light and then darkness.

Darkness turns to light when the large group appear in a slightly different room than they just left. They pile out of the room and onto a crowded street. They ask a nearby orc for directions, this just so happens to be the same Orc Blithe talked too, carrying wood planks again. He directs them to the same place as Blithe and they wander along until the smell of bacon guides them the rest of the way. They get into the Green Egg and in the corner is Hugh, surrounded by fans and signing books. Apparently he is the greatest vampire hunter. In another corner is Blithe, eating bacon and enjoying some ale. As they enter the Inn, Wesley tells Percival to wait by the door for the Elf, just incase she gets lost. Percival grabs some ale and goes to wait by the door, the door of the inn, which is not what Wesley meant but at least he means well.

Once again darkness is replaced by the sight of a similar room, although this time there are a confused Orc and human trying to rebuild a door that has a foot shaped hole in it. She talks to them and eventually they wander away muttering something about elves. Entany walks the crowded streets until she sees a small goblin waving frantically at her from an inn. She greets Percival, and after he asks why she has weird markings on her face. These markings look like spectacles and a mustache. Entany tries to clear them off again but they just turn purple. With a sigh she walks into the inn. Immediately the entire place turns and begins laughing, once the laughter died down the ink disappears (what an oddly specific spell.)

Reunited with the rest of the group, they begin talking about their trek to the Capitol. The Dwarven barkeep overhears them, and asks if they would bring a totally not suspicious package to his brother there. It might be death…for him…maybe…like 50/50. He really just needs to get his hands on his brothers bar. Apparently this Dwarf is jealous of his brother owning a more successful bar in the Captiol than him. Really he just wants that bar. Blithe, always wanting to meddle with things, suggests they fabricate a claim on his brothers bar. They make an agreement. iF they get him the other bar, and he can live in this one, then Blithe can own this bar in return. Volanna having paper and writing equipment writes a binding contract, part to make sure this doesn’t bite them in the end and part so she can begin brew ale again.

Before they leave for the capitol the next day they are greeted by Hugh outside, standing next to a cart of parchment, He’s writing his next book on vampire slaying, an adventure in which he single handed killed a vampire in a complex tunnel system with the help of the youngest Barkely. The group, not entirely pleased with this fabrication, cast dark looks at the pair. Blithe ‘accidently’ sets the cart of parchment on fire, and Volanna wedgies Reginald when he least expected it. With that sorted….sort of. They begin the half day walk to the Capitol. Along the way they encounter many people who ask if they could bring something to the Capitol for them, cloth, food, fine plateware. A whole mess of things. It’s enough that they stop and buy two extra carts before even getting half way. There is probably money to be made in this shipping service. City folk would gladly pay someone to move their goods so they don’t have to.

Before they can really flesh out this new business venture they stop in front of a very large gate. The Capitol looms over them. It was easy enough to get through, once the guards knew they were shipping goods in there were no other questions. Within the Capitol the feeling is different, it’s just as busy but no where near as happy, or even nice. This place is full of bitter, bitter men.

What will they find here? Will they actually fabricate a claim for a Dwarf they just met? Will the move the story along with much next week? Probably not.

#16 - I did it!


Reginald and Volanna descend into the tunnels, winding their way along the path. When they reach where the path splits they hear a commotion to their right. Assuming that must be it, they charge into the shadowy corridor.

Still holding up, Wesley stabs his blade into the vampire’s side. Although it was a deep wound the vampire merely cracks his neck again, his wound seems to heal slightly. Taken back from this sight, Wesley leaves himself vulnerable for just a moment, enough time for the vampire to sinks its teeth into his neck. Not a moment later does Reginald come charging out of the entrance to the room and attacks the vampire from behind. He actually hits him. While the fighting continues, Volanna finds Entany collapsed in the entrance and feeds her a newly brewed health potion. Once she has awoken Volanna uses Reginald as a distraction to run in and pick up Blithe from the floor. The length of this battle has caught up to Wesley, he falls to the vampire after a final slash of its claws. Blithe has since awoken and has stolen a potion from Volanna before she realizes. Back into the fight he and Reginald keep attacking. Entany tries to attack from the entrance way, and when that fails she retreats back up the tunnel system, fearing that the others may fall soon. Volanna, not wanting to be just the healer, launches a fist of air towards the vampire. The power behind the attack is enough to turn the vampire to dust and have him scatter in the unnatural winds. Reginald is knocked off his feet due to close proximity to the attack and Wesleys unconscious body is sent flying into the opposite wall. Once everything settles down all the torches in the room are relit, the vampires darkness no longer covering them.

The oddities were not quite over for the group. On the far side of the wall a door bursts open. Running in as a man in a cloak, wielding two hand crossbows. He introduces himself as Hugh. Hugh Jackman. Worlds greatest vampire hunter. He had heard there was a vampire in these parts. The group silently point to the scattered piles of dust on the floor, Hugh nods in return and leaves the way he came.

Entany returns and immediately begins knocking on the random doors in the room, looking for some explaination of what had happened here. One in particular was locked. She sets it ablaze and once it burns down it reveals a storage room, full of books and research equipment, mostly likely arcanic in nature. She begins studying the nearest journal. It’s an account of a wizard who was studying something in these tunnels, from what she can gather it appears that the vampire was this very researcher before something in his studies clearly went wrong.

Blithe silently slips out to the tunnels and follows the gold trail where he had last left off. Back down where he toyed with Lord Barkley’s men, was a room nearly empty of the gold that was once there. Upon the stairs was one of the guards. He was breathing heavily, the colours of his knight armour stained red from his wounds. Knowing he was never spotted by these guards, Blithe goes to talk to the man. He is Ser On Ri. A slightly older knight from the Northlands who had pledged his allegiance to the Barkleys sometime ago. An allegiance that clearly has no meaning to Lord Barkley who had left him behind when he could not keep up. This knight has quite the sense of humour and he and Blithe joke about some of the other lords while Blithe helps him walk back to Volanna for healing.

The group is getting ready to head out of the cavern system when Blithe arrives with the injured Ser On Ri. After his wounds are healed he notices that Reginald is trying to hide behind the others. He goes and kneels before the young lord and tells him of his Uncle Charles unfortunate death. No one is quite sure what happened but it was a tragic finding. Reginald jokes about how really his uncle probably deserved it, he was quite the undesirable person. Surprisingly the knight agrees, and they share in some jokes and memories of the family.
After a time Reginald leaves, clearly wanting no more to do with a personal knight of his father. He travels back to the surface to find that in an afternoon the golbins have created a democracy and have voted a mayor. It was a close call, the top contenders being Tim, Daisy the horse, Volanna and Sven the cowardly golbin. Ultimately they voted Tim to be there new mayor. Tim is rallying his people. Talks of building a new goblin empire, and this being the start of a new age for anyone who has suffered at the hands of slavers. Afterwards Reginald congratulates Tim, and while they walk Tim says that he must stay with his new town but gives Reginalds a bell to summon his help whenever they need it. He also declares that Reginald is the first ambassador of goblins to the kingdoms of men.

Wesley meanwhile is interested in this random vampire hunter that left as suddenly as he had shown up. Both he and Blithe decide to follow through the door after him. There are two sets of stairs not far behind the door, one leading up to the surface and the other leading down into the depths of the earth. There are noises drifting up from the lower stairs, and they of course, follow them. The stairs lead to a large open room, with many small chambers leading off of it. There are numerous doors around the room and at one of them they spy Hugh. He is trying to unlock a large wooden door by force and it isn’t quite working. Wesley walks over and mentions that his friend, as he gestures over to Blithe, could open the door if he wanted. He also mentions that their group could use another fighter, they were always finding their way into trouble, or finding mysterious things no one has seen in generations. This is enough to convince Hugh to join with them, he had no clear goal after this vampire,and truth be told he needed a new way to make his fortune. Out of curiousity, Blithe opens the large wooden door. What was there was unexpected.

#15 - Vampires & Knights (Sounds like a bad romance novel)


Wesley asks again. “What are you?” The Elven looking man stares and replies “Your undoing” without a move all the torches that were lit are extinguished. Wesley cooly takes a torch from his pack, careful to keep an ear out for anything near by. He lights the new torch, he can’t see anything within the ten foot radius around him, he moves to a wall and relights one of the torches, still nothing. He relights the torches one by one, occasionally seeing something from the corner of his eye. He hears something on the ceiling, without hesitation his left eye glows and he launches a fireball towards the sound. From the light he can’t see his target but he can see that there are a number of other doors in the cave, some standard size and others meant more for goblins. Growing bored, Wesley shouts insults into the dark, tempting what he now believes is a vampire to finally drop to the ground. In the shadowy cave they fight, Wesley’s skills with sword and shield are a tough fight for the vampire who can’t seem to land a significant hit. Another fireball catches on the dusty slave clothing of the vampire forcing it to skitter back into the darkness and return to the ceiling. Wesley unleashes more magic in the form of a thunderous wave, like previous times he’s done this it creates a sound that can be felt for miles.

Above ground shockwaves tremble the camp grounds. While Volanna brews some healing potions, Entany tries to rally the goblins. She sets up an empowered speech, talking about taking what’s theirs, helping create a town from the rubble, and to finally be free! But with Tim mocking her in the background only a few really pay attention. Some goblins stir and nod, but when she tells them to follow her into the tunnels only one steps forward. Entany and this small goblin Sven, trek down into the tunnels. Reginald in the meantime has more important dealings, like becoming the campaign manager for Tim’s election for Mayor of the unnamed town.

Some time ago Blithe went into the tunnels while no one was looking. He followed some paths and when he came to the cross roads, took the path with more foot prints. It was likely that Lord Barkely and his men had gone this way with the gold. It wasn’t long before he could hear the voices. From around the corner he could see four very well armed knights and Reginald’s father. Near them was the gold they had taken from the vaults. With his target sighted, Blithe begins taking the group out. First, distracting a few by tossing a stone further down the path, two knights leave. Blithe sends a bolt of light at the remaining two, one drops to the ground dead and Blithe runs back up the tunnel. Near the cross roads he hides in the shadows. Lord Barkley and his remaining knights backtrack to find who attacked them. At the same time Entany and Sven were walking down the tunnel, fortunately they spotted the knights before they were spotted. Sven ran as fast as he could away from these slave owners. Entany has just enough time to change herself to look like a Barkley guard. As Lord Barkley turns the corner he’s faced with a guard he doesn’t recognize. Confused he asks where the hell they’ve been. Entany comes up with a quick lie, she was hiding during the riot and first chance she got she came down the tunnels. She warns them that the surface is chaos and they have to turn back. This story works well, Lord Barkely turns to his other knights and tells them to head back. He warns her that if she follows them, they’ll kill her. Entany keeps up appearances and acts terrified, that if they leave she’ll be in danger again. They ignore her and turn to leave. Being the bugger he is, Blithe kills another Knight as they walk down the tunnel. Thinking it was Entany, the remaining knights turn around and chase after her. Entany turns and runs down the other tunnel path, as the knight ran past him, Blithe begins his chase.

As they near the entrance to the cave where Wesley is fighting, Blithe catches up, unsheathing his flame sword he cooks one of the knights brain. And suddenly these two fights have become intertwined. In the chaos the Knight takes his aggression out on Entany who still looks like a Barkely guard. To protect herself she creates a collection of illusions that mimic her movement. While Wesley still easily deflects most attacks, Blithe occasionally sends incredibly powerful attacks towards the vampire. The knight meanwhile finally gets the upper hand and knocks Entany out cold, her illusions and disguise both break. The Vampire turns to Blithe and speaks the Dwarven word for ignite. The flame of Blithe’s sword goes out and won’t reignite when he speaks the word again. In this distraction the vampire bites Blithe and he falls.

On the surface Volanna senses something isn’t right. She would bet her few gold coins that the elf was in trouble again. She gathers her potions and tells Reginald to ready for a fight. They descend into the tunnels.

Splitting the party is the only thing this group enjoys doing.

#14 - Nothing to see here


Oh look, fighting! Without warning Volanna sends a fist made of air at the large Orc Guard Captain. He’s sent flying across the ground with a number of grunts and curse words. Some of the other guards attempt to put the fire out, but having not dealt with real problems for sometime they are rather clumsy and stupid. The Guard Captain has picked himself up and charges towards his attacker. He deals some considerable damage before Reginald and Blithe step forward and attack. Blithe returns the fierce hits while Reginald adds support with his crossbow. In a desire to look badass, Wesley runs feel speed from the other side of the camp and vaults over the block that contains Entany. He slightly trips up and ends up rolling to his feet slightly dazed. From behind him, Entany launches bolts of lightning towards the Captain lighting the camp with her attack.

Meanwhile another guard has put down a number of the rioting goblins, and for no obvious reason walks to a locked cage containing what looks like a young, male Elven slave and unlocks the door. The Elf casually stands up, walks to the guard and easily snaps his neck. With a wipe of his hands he begins strolling along towards the burning building containing the gold vault. What a bitch.

Reginald trades his crossbow for his fancy rapier, and runs towards the large Orc. While Volanna trades one last attack before stumbling away, Reginald runs up and once again tries to attack his target to no avail. He quickly dodges a couple of the Captains attacks but not all and is hurting quite a bit. Blithe attacks again and deals more damage than should be possible and kills the Orc in a blinding light.

The Elf is still on a leisurely stroll towards a flaming inferno. Entany calls out to him in Elven, suggesting they team up, he doesn’t even turn around. He’s too busy with biting one of the guards fighting the fire. The guard sputters his last breath and falls to the ground. The Elven man then just walks inside.

Blithe kills the last guard while Reginald helps Tim rein in the remaining rioting goblins. Tim tells them that this group is good (except maybe that one Elf…) Wesley is more interested in this mysterious Elf man. Once the building is extinguished he follows after him. In the building most of the gold is gone and a number of chests that didn’t burn have been looted. There are a number of corpses littering the floor, many having signs of a very unpleasant death, not necessarily by fire. There are a few coins leading down a tunnel in the back of the tower. Wesley goes down into the tunnels, it’s not long before it turns into goblin caves. He comes to a cross roads. Down one path are three sets of footprints, and the other only has one. He follows the singles set of tracks, it leads him into a large cave. At the other end of the cave stands the Elf, he’s retrieved his armour from a nearby chest, or from back at the tower. Wesley yells across the large, dark cavern. “WHAT ARE YOU?” The Elf turns, eyes glowing in the dark.

What? Who? I don’t know!

#13 - Plan? Where we're going we don't need plans.

Time to get this ball rolling! The crew wake up to a rainy morning and almost immediately set off to go in groups to the slave camp. To scout it out…probably. When they arrive a number of new caravans are entering the camp with new slaves to replace all the slaves that had been sold the previous day. AS they approach the front gate they hear a guard muttering about deserters, and about how now they were undermanned for today’s auction. With a group with three human nobles the guard didn’t question them for a second as they walked in to tour the area. They split up and look for anything of importance.

Many things happen at roughly the same time.

Volanna heads to the cages, looking around she sees a very old woman sitting in the back corner of her cage. Typically slaves are used for physical labour, this woman was way too old for that. She asks if the woman has magical abilities, the only reason she see slavers wanting to keep her. The woman replies that she knows a little, when you get to be her age there’s bound to be some magic involved. The woman is more distracted by Volanna though, she looks at her and says that she looks almost exactly like one of the guards. This guard in particular is incredibly mean, not that any of the other guards are saints but he is well worse than them. Volanna asks where this guard might be, perhaps she can do something about it (and to investigate just how similar they are.) Before leaving she gives the old woman some food from her pouch.

In another area filled with cages, goblins in particular, Reginald and Tim walk around. Tim encourages Reginald to just free the goblins, they can create a great distraction as they free the other slaves. Tim is a clever goblin, he uses mass amounts of compliments to have Reginald agree to this plan. Reginald now with an ego half the size of the camps looks into the locking system for the cages. It’s rather complicated but he spies a guard nearby with a set of keys. He walks over and talks to the guard, guard is rather bored, nothing interesting ever happens anymore. No fights. No Riots. Just same old nobles, buying the same old slaves. While they are talking Tim wanders over, looks around, and just so happens to find the guards keys in his hand. Oh what a joy! He pockets them and just mindlessly wanders away to not cause to much of a fuss.

Around the grounds Blithe keeps an eye out for the guard he has been tasked with killing. He knows he’s an orc, and not much else. In his travelling he spies the guard house. Probably a lot of coin in there. He slips into the shadows and starts to work his way over. As he nears the door it swings open violently! Out walks a very large, very full blooded Orc. This guard has a similar look to Volanna, only a lot more…Brutal…Orcish. The guard leaves and Blithe slips into the doorway behind him. Upon a desk is a large number of documents about the slaves currently held in the camp…what a shame if something were to happen to them. He pulls out his sword and speaks ignite as he lights the papers and the guard house in flames.

In the centre of the camp lies a large camp fire pit with a roasting pig. Wesley sits himself right down in front of it, he’s just waiting for someone else to mess something up and need rescuing, these plans never work. After a time a man in his late 50s approaches him and asks if the seat next to him was taken. Wesley gestures that it’s fine for him to sit, as he turns to him he notices that this man wears the Barkley colours. The man says he hates the dirty parts of this business. Wesley inquires if he talks about slaving. No, the man hates the business of being noble. There’s a lot of work involved! He has to manage the familys money and manage those of his family who would be foolish. His father didn’t work from a small few hundred acres with only one castle to have him lead the life of managing his peasants and having children who would live off their inheritance and be nobodies! The man continues to talk about war, and how it would probably be good for his lazy kids to have to fight for what they have. Wesley just nods and looks into the fire, clearly this man is a Barkley. After a time the older man gets up and returns to his entourage of guards and servants.

In another corner of the camp, Entany turns herself into the form of a goblin, planning to turn herself over to a guard in hopes that she can cause the other goblins to start a riot. She approaches a guard and says that she was let out for a showing and told to return to a guard and that she would like to be put into a cage. The guard answers this with hit her in the face with a hammer. Another guard appears and they begin dragging her away. Entany apologizes over and over and tries to explain herself. The guards aren’t sure how a goblin can be so well mannered and talk so clearly, but they can’t let it go back to the cages, might start trouble, best to just kill her. As she’s being dragged to the block, Entany tries numerous tricks to get the guards to let her go. She turns one of their gloves into glowing light. Nothing. Creates electric sparks before them. Still nothing. With one last effort she poisons one of the guards. It works but he just thinks he’s getting a cold. They tie her to the block just as the large Orc guard appears. He wants to know what’s happening. Behind him in the distance the guard house begins to smolder. Entany continues to argue for her life to the new guard as Volanna just so happens to walk by. She recognizes the guard as Voldar, a member of her Orcish clan, a clan that left her on the doorstep of a monastery due to her half human nature. Only from revisiting her clans only a few years ago does she know this Orc. As she’s about to argue about what he’s doing here, the guard house erupts into a raging inferno and a horde of goblins come running out from main building causing havoc.

The guards run off to fight and Volanna is left standing at a block with a goblin who talks surprisingly well. Entany tells her what she’s done, and wants to be freed. Volanna makes a few (funny) comments about the situation and breaks the lock off the frame holding her down. Entany returns to her normal self and looks at the scene erupting in front of them. Just then Reginald walks up, and points to the chaos behind him “Look what I did!” credit where credit is due Volanna high fives Reginald before running off to find the old woman she met earlier. Still in her cage, the old woman is surprised to see Volanna walking over to her and ripping the lock off her cage. She thanks her and turns into a frog and hops away.

As the fire continues to rage Blithe spies some men in Barkley colours go into a building, it’s partially on fire but they’ve managed to get the vaults open. Nobody steals gold before Blithe! He sends a blast of energy through the window knocking down burning beams and sets the front door on fire. Trapped, all that can be heard is yelling from the men as the building collapses. Blithe runs off, finds Volanna and convinces her to help him put the fire out so they can collect the money. As Volanna begins to contain the fire with what little elemental powers she has the guards spy them. The run to confront them, at the head of the pack is Voldar. Blithe apologizes, he must kill this Orc. Volanna doesn’t really care, her clan didn’t want her anyways.

Will the entire camp be destroyed? Will the group be able to create their own town free of Kings and corrupt government? Will Tim be able to control his magic this time? Probably not.


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