Pants Not Required

#33 - Twins Basil, Twins.


After a little break our heroes are still arguing with the Elves for the rights to the crazy arcanic crystal. There is a tiny bit of diplomacy mixed in with lots of one sided arguing all ending with Null back handing both the lead Elf and Bowan (because Null’s being a grump.) Finally an agreement is reached, the Elves will send two of their own to join the Heroes so that they might research the crystal some more and the Heroes get the whole crystal. Arlen and Almon are twin brothers, who also wield magical powers of fire and ice. Immediately Arabella distrusts them (because twins are evil) and starts plotting their doom. Bane then asks the Elves what they remember of the Dragon Wars. From their perspective it was over 500 years ago and these Elves have been frozen in their minds for hundreds of years. The Dragonborn who sided with the Dragons eventually won but at the costs of the lives of all Dragons. There is talk of De’Kard son of Kard, a name which Bane is intensely familiar with. Also around this time a new King showed up in Guild Port and began his rule from behind closed doors. No one has heard much of him. This appears to be the same king from memory the group witnessed in the temple.

As the crew leaves the forest they ask if some of the pixies would like to tag along as well, because they already are a band of misfit heroes, what’s a few more? Acorn, Savvi and Fidget all come along and there a plans of building a little Pixie village up in the crows nest on the ship. And thus the long trip back to the City of Dodge begins.

Finally arriving back at the gates of Dodge the group sees a familiar Dwarf waiting excitedly for them. When he rushes to meet them he has clearly been beside himself in excitement waiting for the lamp. The group asks why he wants the lamp to which he responds “Why I think it would look great in the front hall of my home!” Seriously? The heroes can see that this is truly what he wishes for the lamp and they hand it over. In return they receive their reward. They then enter the city and immediately notice there are a number of new Warforge in the city, hundreds by a quick count. Many of the cities residents stay well away from the Warforge and try not to linger in one place too long. If they had to guess, our heroes would say that these Warforge are the same that came to their rescue during the undead invasion of the City of Dragon Falls. Most of the crew returns to the ship to get some rest, food and to attach the new catapult, dubbed Rosie, to the front of the ship.

Meanwhile Bowan tries to find an articifer shop. while on his hunt Jimmy the Warforge approaches him. He talks to Bowan, yes talks! He says that he is no longer needed in the City thanks to these new Warforge and would like to join the crew. Bowans jaw drops to the floor, which isn’t far since he’s a Dwarf (ha!) and eagerly welcomes Jimmy to the ragtag crew of madness. Jimmy nods and wanders off to the ship while Bowan finally finds an articifer that isn’t closed. He has the man inspect the gadgetry that he found in the Temple. It appears that it could be used to make a great mechanical wonder, but perhaps that would be best to look into at a later date. The shop keep seems very nervous of the Warforge standing outside while Bowan also purchases various weapon augments. After sometime the Warforge walk in and ask Bowan to leave. Elsewhere in the City Arabella is on the hunt for a companion. She finds a Falconry and buys a lovely black Falcon named Magpie.

Back on the ship Null talks to Arlen and Almon as she shows them around the ship and introduces them to the crew (They take an immediate dislike to Alphonso, to which Null greatly approves of these newcomers.) She wonders what they remember of being controlled by the Beholder and if their magical abilities protected them at all. They remember nothing of the time while being controlled and the events before that are a little blurry. While their magic help protect them for a time it was inevitable that they would succumb to the powers of the Beholder. Arlen says that it’s weird to be in control again and Almon says that it’s even weirder to have grey skin and pointed teeth. Null begins questioning what the pair has in plan for their research. Apparently they plan to see if they can put it back together and if it can be replicated. The crystal has immense powers and could power very large Cities with little effort. Even after hundreds of years there is still nothing in the land that can match it’s power.

Once Bowan returns to the ship he tells Bane that the City seems to be scared by these new Warforge and it’s odd that there are so many around. The pair decide to go talk to Sheriff Greyland. When they arrive at his office they see two Warforge outside and hear a tantrum from inside. They cautiously enter and find Greyland throwing papers and making a general mess of his office. “Retirement!” He shouts. “Can you believe that?” He tells Bowan and Bane that some messenger from the King arrived with all the Warforges and told him his service was done. Turns out, the messenger was the Shardmind who the group had met back at Dragon Falls. Bane asks what Greyland plans to do now and asks if he wants to join with them. Greyland says that it would be better than cow farming as he slices the desk in three with his twin swords.

When the crew is all back together on the ship they discuss the new Warforge army. Jimmy says that the Warforge are inferior, they do not think or act on their own. Suggesting that there might be a hive mind controlling them all. Bowan begins build of an electrical mine that could disable a Warforge so he can see what’s going on in it’s brain. Arlen and Almon take great interest in his build and offer no hate towards the Dwarf, which is unusual for Elves. Bowan says that these Elves can’t be all bad if they take such an interest in the creation of great mechanical builds. +1 Bonding moment.

Once the mine is created, the group heads to the local bar to set up a trap. When they arrive they see the Shardmind messenger. Bashanu goes to talk to him and find out why he’s here. The King has sent him and the Warforge to secure the new colonies out in this land and to start to populate the desert. The group sits and waits in the bar while the mine waits just outside the door. Nothing happens for hours and while drinking is fun things need to getting a move on now. Arabella goes just outside the bar and taunts the Warforge, nothing. She Pixie dusts one of them and all Warforge on the street turn and being walking towards her in Halberd formation. She hides and as one steps on the mine it is electrocuted and falls. In the distance sirens begin to sound. The Shardmind quickly leaves the bar as the Warforge declare a lock down until further notice. With no way to get to the downed Warforge without incurring the wraith of the whole horde the group is forced to sit and drink at the bar for another 5 hours, or the humanity! After a time the Warforge that was broken stands up, it appears to have repaired itself.

What’s going on with this City? Will our heroes be to drunk to do anything now? Will they take in more crew members until they have a full ship? Tune in and find out!

# 32 - Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

Our little group of sneaks continue through the forest. For a time there is little change around them. As they near the city however two more pixies join them. Savi and Acorn tell of 10 elves working their way through the forest towards them. They hides in the trees and await the group. Once the Elves were underneath them the attack begins! Null jumps out and lands near the Elves to distract them, still looking like a grey Elf. The others jump out and begin to pummel the Elves into the ground while Null shouts various war chants. They hide the bodies and once again melt into the shadows of the forest.

As the approach a collapsed portion of the outer wall of the city, Bane sends Fukuro for back up just in case. Theu survey the area until the others arrive. The Elves are scattered about the city, restless and glass eyed. There is a church not far from the collapsed wall, it’s in better shape than the rest of the city, the intricate stained glass still intact. This is where they will start the search. When the others arrive Null continues her bluff and shuffles over to the church and mimicking one of the Elves rages she smashed through a stained glass panel and hops inside. Arabella knocks the only Elf between them unconscious to allow for the others to move unseen. Bashanu teleports to Null, upon arrival they both are silent for what lies in the church is unexpected. A giant glowing red crystal. It radiates dark magic. Meanwhile Bowan has decided the Elves are not worth keeping alive and begins to attack them all. Heru sends Owl bear to keep Bowan from being mobbed and jumps into the church. As the others arrive into the church to look upon the crystal, Heru checks the magic through it, it amplifies his own powers and for a time appears to not have an evil influence at all. A sudden searing strike to his mind stops that. He tells of an evil force using the crystal. Bane begins to attack the crystal, it cracks. There is a deafening roar and the church shakes. The centre opens up and everything grows dark. Up from the darkness a Beholder comes into view, it’s eye red and glowing like the crystal. The Pixies begin to assault the crystal, it cracks again and Beholder screams in deep speak. Bashanu takes his mighty wrench and smashes the crystal in half and the glowing stops.

Outside, Bowan’s rampage is ended as all the Elves collapse as a terrible roar echos from the church. He considers going to help but then spies a catapult in a square not far from the church. Whatever is inside the church was going to feel the mighty sting of invention.

Inside the church the assault on the Beholder begins. The Pixies are mighty warriors and deal a great amount of damage while fluttering around the beasts eyes. Bane is possessed for a short time, but his will prevents him from doing too much damage to the others. As Bashanu is attacking he becomes unconscious (how is this possible for a rock man?) Null either effected by fear or disgust for the Beholder can not manage to do much other than to shout encouragement and obscenities. As the fight drags on a loud and unexpected crash happens as a boulder falls through the wall of the church and slams through the other side of it. Through the new window the group can see Bowan, excited as a Dwarf with a beard made of gold, has gotten the catapult to work and is sending chunks of the city towards the Beholder. More chaos as Fidget climbs into the catapult and is launched spear first into the Beholder. The Beholder is now enraged and begins to petrify heroes at random. Savi, Null both become petrified. And Bowan is struck with an intense beam of magic as he throws himself in front of the catapult to protect it. But all this comes too late for the Beholder, as it is finally struck down. As it roars it’s final time the air around the city lightens. Outside the Elves that were still alive begin to wake up, while still grey with sharpened teeth they appear to act like normal Elves.

The heroes leave the church and talk to the Elves (while Bowan tries to figure a way to move the catapult so he can take it back to the ship.) The Elves don’t remember much. This all appears to have been the cause of the crystal amplifying the Beholders mind controlling powers. Bowan shouts to kill all the Elves and to take the crystal for themselves. Bane annoyed with Bowans rampant hatred for these Elves tells him to shut up. Heru is also interested in the crystal, if it amplifies magical abilities it would serve many of them well. The Elves wish to keep the crystal to study it further.

Will our heroes ever decide what to do with the crystal? Will Bowan be able to take his new favourite toy home? Tune in and find out!

#31 - Danger? I laugh in the face of danger!


When we last left our heroes they were back outside the temples entrance. While they rested up from their insane run through the temple they investigate the lamp they have collected. It appears to have writing on it, in the language of the gods. Fukuro the book imp is the only one who can read it. The lamp talks of the dragon deity “Bolas.” This deity wishes to resurrect the dragons and wipe out all other living races. A dragon has already been resurrected, and this is why our heroes dared to venture out to this land. . Normally this information would lead serious heroes back to the city to begin preparation for a battle. But no….these are a different sort of heroes. The ones that wish to go and find a group of hostile elves in a forest. Just keep running away from your problems….they might even solve themselves.

The group heads out to find the elves. After a while they realize they are lost and have ended back up at the temple….Round 2! They head in the right direction this time and quickly begin to see a forest on the horizon. As they approach a number of warning signs appear. They tell of danger and to turn back, some are accompanied by various limbs of previous trespassers. Null and Heru, being bored by the long walk, begin to write on the signs with some of the bards writing tools. Closer to the forest it appears that no one is around. A whistling sound comes from the forest and Null is struck in the leg by an arrow! Well this seems to have escalated quickly. Owl bear and Pylon are sent to scout ahead and are quickly impaled in arrows. Arabella stealths to the trees to draw out the attackers. What she finds is most amusing. Two Pixies! she brings them back to the group and the Pixies introduce themselves as Fidget and Amber. They explain that there are Elves that live in an old City in the forest, they kill any intruders in a blinding rage. All but the Pixies who seem to be allowed to live in the forest as well. It is decided that the heroes need more information before going in, so Arabella goes with the Pixies to their Village, gains a change of clothes to blend in and goes to scout out the Elves.

The city is made of stone and appears to be decaying from time and neglect. The area has a very unsettling air about it. As they go into the city they see Elves. They aren’t moving, they look sleepy. Their skin has become grey and their teeth sharpened into points. Arabella spots an old temple. She flies in and finds the place in ruins, books and papers scattered everywhere. She finds a book with Draconic ruins, ones she recognizes that Bane can read. She takes it back to the group and Bane says that it is a journal. The first half of it is in Draconic and tells of the fall of this city. The second half is written in Elvish and it tells of an archaeology mission into the city lead by a group of Elves. Something happened here that lead the whole team to become lethargic and hostile. This intrigues the group, they wish to find out more. The create a plan to sneak into the city. Arabella will continue to sneak with the Pixies, and Null and Bane will follow behind. Bane will hide amongst the trees while Null is disguised by the Pixie in grey paint to look like the other Elves.

They walk into the forest. Aside from a few snapped twigs the group goes unnoticed for some time. Suddenly, two Elves from the City begin to run towards them, the Pixies and Bane hide while Null tests the believability of her disguise. At first the Elves stop and stare at her, they yell and she replies in turn with yelling and funny faces. This appears to be enough for them and they run off passed her.

Will our heroes be caught by the Elves? What happened to cause all this in the first place?

#30 - Ok, Now what?


We last left our heroes in a giant domed hall in the Draconic Temple. They begin to look around the hall, trying to find their way out, a way out that hopefully will not lead them into the gold dragon. Arabella flies up to the glass dome and looks outside. It appears that there are cities all around them, Dragon Born in appearance. As the dragon attempts to bash the walls down, Null walks across to a very large and elaborate door. Made of gold and encrusted in many jewels this door is by far the nicest thing they have seen in this temple. It appears to have no handles, but is bared on this side with two bars. As they try to check to see if the door contains any magic the dragon bursts through the wall on the other side of the chamber! Unfortunately our heroes are clustered around the door, the dragon sends one fireball their way and it engulfs them all. Burning and not too pleased the group scatters and begin their assault.

Bane’s new armour appears to fight back when struck, it blasts the dragon with a necrotic beam of anti-light. The dragon appears to have little to no weaknesses however. Considering his surroundings, Bowan calls to the other to shoot down the glass ceiling above the tiled moon on the floor. Arabella takes a shot at the glass, it shatters! As moonlight hits the glittering tiles half of the jewels on the door light up and some unclicking sounds can be heard. Arabella and Null fly/levitate to the second floor to escape the dragons wraith, but soon after the dragon hits them with more fire. While the dragon is occupied between Heru and Bane, Bowan shoots down the glass over the tiled sun, and just as before the other jewels light up and the elaborate door opens behind them! Our heroes begin to make their way to the door through fire and claw swipes. Heru binds the Dragon with magical chains, and as our heroes are starting to hurt the dragon lets out one final roar and the magical binding that held the coins together ends! The floor is showered with thousands of coins! Bloodied and hurt the heroes gather up the gold, this is more than they have ever seen in their lives!

Finally they turn to the door, it appears to lead down another hall way, surprise surprise. At the end of the hallway is another door, it has a strong magical presence about it. Heru touches the door, and poof! He vanishes! Arabella does the same and also vanishes! The others try to dispell the magic, not knowing where their comrades have gone to. They dispell the magic and nothing happens. Heru fade shifts with owl bear and tells the others they the door was suppose to take them to the entrance of the temple. Now it did nothing. Heru begins fade shifting the rest of the group back to the entrance while Bane and Bowan go through the door. It is the throne room they saw in their vision not that long ago. Heru enters the room, he grabs Bane and shifts him back to the entrance, and promptly receives a punch to the face for grabbing the Dwarf by surprise. When Heru goes back for Bowan however the Dwarf goes and sits on the throne, and vanishes. Heru chases after. Back at the entrance the group wonders where the last two might have disappeared to. They wait for half an hour when the pair finally shows up. They were teleported elsewhere and even with an instance fade shift they ended up later in time.

What now? Our heroes need a quick break but what misadventures will they go on next? Find the hostile Elven tribe? Get the heck back to Dodge? Tune in to find out!

#29 - We must go faster.


A golden dragon made of coins roars out behind out heroes, and the decide this is not an illusion. As they begin to run a portal opens up in the ceiling and Heru drops out, wait..what? Well alrighty then. The chase begins! They burst through the double doors out of the treasure room and begin running down a long flight of stairs. Being made of coins the dragon moulds itself through the door and down the stairs after the heroes. Arabella, not being able to resist treasure even at the risk of her own life tries to grab at some coins. She is smacked in the head with a golden chalice that has fallen from the dragon. Null attempts to rescue her but her amazing acrobatic streak has ended and falls to the stairs as well. Heru turns and waits for the two to get up and meet him and he quickly mists steps them to the bottom of the stairs where the others wait. Heru checks the magical powers that are bound to the dragon, and it seems that after some time the dragon should return to its post. But for now they need a distraction. Bane creates an illusion at the bottom of the stairs, while it will make no sound it should confuse the dragon for a time.

They continue down the hall, the dragon slowed behind them as it investigates the illusion. They go through another set of doors and find themselves in another long hallway. The hallway is empty except for a few torches down the walls. Nothing could possibly go wrong! As they begin to run the floor opens up under Bashanu and he falls into a pit. Arabella uses pixie dust to lift him out and get him moving again. More pits open up down the hall but none stop the heroes for very long. Until the reach the end of the hall that is. As they approach, a giant pit, spanning the entire width of the hall appears. It’s 20 feet to the landing on the other side and quite the drop down. The dragon bursts into the hallway behind them, not pleased by the distraction. After a quick discussion Bashanu tosses Bane across the gap and then shard swarms over himself. Null proudly shows off her levitation abilities she discovered from her last session of meditation and gently glides over. Before Heru or Arabella can make the move the dragon spits a fire ball at them. Being a warlock Heru shrugs off most of the flames, the poor pixie however is in a much worse situation. She flies over the pit while completely engulfed inflames. Heru launches himself over the gap but falls just short of the other ledge and slides down. Null offers him a rope and quickly pulls him up as the others run into the next room.

This new room is square in shape and has a very fancy looking door on the opposite wall. Bane attempts to attack the door trying to break it down and doesn’t do so well. Heru teleports to the other side just as Bashanu burst the door off its hinges. Behind all this Arabella fights the dragon as it pushes through the open door. She falls to fire damage and quickly saves herself! Good show! The rest of the group runs into the next room and they barred the door after them. They hear the dragon rumble on the other side but it does not seem to attempt open it.

This new room is very grand. It’s circular, with a second story balcony and a large glass dome stretching high into the sky. Wait…sky? Should they be underground? This temple is strange. the floor is a giant mosaic of glass tiles. The centre of which is a sun and a moon. Upon the walls are paintings, much like the others they’ve seen. Dragon Born, all in armour and battle ready. Many of the paintings have their clan symbol on them, but the Dragon Born themselves have red Xs painted across their face. The group takes this time to catch their breath and look at the treasure they collected. Bashanu has collected a new ax(e) head attachment for his weapon, Arabella has a shiny new bow. Bane is confused as he looks at the armour he picked up, it’s familiar. He dare not tell the others but he believes this is his armour, from a very long time ago. But what was it doing in this temple?

Rumbling can be heard overhead, it appears the dragon has had enough waiting and is attempting to break a wall down somewhere overhead on the second story. How will our heroes fight a dragon made of coins?

# 28 -Mind Warp


Our heroes stare into the new portal. What could be on the other side? Well there is only one way to find out. When the heroes appear on the other side, something seems…off. They turn to look at each other and quickly realize why everything feels off. Horrified the heroes realize they have had their minds switched! Arabella the tiny pixie is now Bashanu the large Shardmind and he is the tiny pixie. Null looks over to herself and feels much shorter. She and Bane have swapped places. The only one who appears to be happy with this switch is Bowan, who is now in the body of his trust bot, Pylon. Oso and Fukuro have also switched bodies and are flailing around trying to get use to them.

After some time of panic they realize that they must find the end of this puzzle in order to be swapped back. They look to the hall they have entered. It contains 5 doors. Time to start the door game once again! Behind the first door on the left is a small room with a Minotaur chained up on the far wall. Seeing that this Minotaur is a prisoner “Bane” (Null) uses the newly acquired lock picking skills to break him free. As this occurs they hear foot steps down the hall. The group closes the door and prepares for an attack in necessary. The door swings open and “Bashanu” (Arabella) hits the first person who walks in. Turns out, it’s the captain and Cade is right behind him. They went looking for the others when they thought they were taking too long. Cade is slightly traumatized in seeing his idol smash the captain over the head with his hammer for no real reason. “Null” (Bane) tries to explain. As they turn they see that in the Minotaur is just a pile of bones, he’s clearly been dead for sometime. Something is wrong with this place. Well no time to think on it now! To the other door! They walk in to the next room they see a group of dragon born! The group seems to be interrupting them, and the Dragon Born begin to question them. “Null” (Bane) starts to question them, asking them what year it is and who’s in charge here. This sudden knowledge of Dragon Born is confusing to the group, real Null in particular, who stops and stares up at her body as it talks about the Dragon Born in detail. The Dragon Born say they will take them to who’s in charge and as they walk out of the room the disappear. Clearly this hall way is filled with illusions. The third door leads to a map room, showing the surrounding desert and the various territories of the Dragon Born clans. The forth door leads to a room that looks like the inside of their ship and Heru is sitting in there. This is odd, Heru has not been seen nor heard from in a while, he just waits on the ship. They talk to him and he responds as he always did, he tells them the training is going well and the ship is well guarded.

The group leaves Heru and goes through the last door. It leads into a room with a door on the left and a mirrored wall facing them. “Bashanu” (Arabella) approaches the mirror, she can only see herself, her real self. She punches the mirror in hopes that it might change her back, as the mirror smashes in front of her she sees the groups reflections. She turns around and no one is there, she has been trapped in another dimension! The group look at the mirror. Be it the strain of being body switched, or the fatigue of this temple in general, most of the group decides to also punch the mirror. They are all ported to the other dimension with “Bashanu” (Arabella.) Only “Null” (Bane) remains in reality. He walks through the door on the left, the mirror continues through this room, he gestures to the group to also walk into the other room. In this room there are a number of vases, and a single podium which is against the mirror. The room on the other side appears to be exactly the same. “Null” (Bane) finds a vase that isn’t in his companions dimension and places it on the podium. Nothing happens. He walks into the next room, it contains a bookshelf. He looks through the books for a moment. Yup that’s it, no more of these head games! “Null” (Bane) also punches the mirror and joins the group. Well now what? Time to explore the doors again on this side! It appears that many of the doors on this side are only just slightly altered. An Orc instead of a Minotaur, the map has the territories switched etc. But the room that once held Heru now contains Null. She looks at them confused. They try to figure out where she is in the timeline, turns out this Null helped kill all the Minotaurs and Orcs and did a number of things our heroes could not have thought of. “Bashanu” (Arabella) tries to pull other Null out of the room to see if she is an illusion. She screams, calling for help. A Dragon Born bursts through the door, Null calls him Bane. What is going on here?! The group have had enough, they go back to the mirror, tired and confused. “Null” (Bane) seems to be bothered that a Dragon Born with his name is in the dimension, to his knowledge no one knows of his past. They reach the mirrored room, and the reflections have all been returned to normal! “Bashanu” (Arabella) touches the mirror and is transported back to the real world as herself. The group follows.

With no where to really go now, the group heads back to the room with the portal. Nulls had enough, she’s tired and confused. She turns to Bane and tells him that he has some explaining to do whenever they get back to the ship. His knowledge of Dragon Borns seems to have made her suspicious. Null lays down on the floor. The group decides it’s best that they go back and see what they missed. The walk through the portal (Null rolls through, because reasons.) But this portal does not lead them back to the previous room. Oh no, it leads them into the middle of a very fancy looking party. The architecture of the room looks like that of Guild Port, and there is a throne with a very bored looking King upon it. Guild Port has not had a King in many years. The group is causing quite the scene. Null begins to play a song on her lute and prances around the room, this is what she was meant to do! Bane joins in by doing some crazy acrobatic stunts while the others meld into the crowd and search the area out. The King is very entertained! He jumps up and begins to dance! At the end of the song, he presents Null and Bane with more gold then they have seen before. Suddenly screams begin! The crowd parts and a strange looking creature with tentacles flowing from the top of his head appears at the front of a group of Shardminds. Bashanu recognizes him as a Mind Fiore. This creature stares down the King and the King begins to have inner struggles. Eventually his minds snaps and he is dead. The Mind Fiore takes his place the throne as his shardminds begin to kill the crowd. As they close in on our heroes the scene fades. They are in the temple once more, in a large room filled with gold coins and treasure. And there it is. The lamp. That god cursed lamp. Clearly this room is filled with traps. Bowan is in his element. He creates a way to take the lamp without much trouble, but he knows that when they take it they will want to leave as quickly as possible. Looking around the room there are many treasures that tempt the heroes. And most decide they will take what interests them. Things like new armour, weapons, lute and shiny things. The heroes set themselves up near their treasures, Pylon approaches the lamp. As soon as he takes it the gold coins begin to shift around and make it tough to leave. The make a run for it! Treasure in tow. As they near the exit a golden dragon made of coins rumbles out to greet them!

What will happen now? Will our heroes be buried in gold or is this just another illusion of the temple?

#27 - Supplies!


Night at the camp, Bashanu keeps a watchful eye (or rock..gem) on their surroundings. He hears a rustling sound from the groups supplies, it’s loud enough to pull Null from her meditation. They go over to investigate. SUPPLIES! (That will never get old…sorry) There is a bear rummaging through the food! A bear with a …fez? What a sight! Suddenly a small creature flies out of the temple shouting at the bear “Unhand those supplies fiend!” This tiny creature is a strange thing to see. He would look like an extremely buff human if it was not for the fact that he had an owl head and wings instead of arms. The rest of the group wake up from the startling sounds, all expect Bowan who is fast asleep on a new bot he has created. The bear runs off holding on to his fez. The tiny creature shouts “I will make you pay for your crimes! No bear will ever escape justice, not while Fukuro is around!” and the rest of the group makes chase. They find themselves near a cave, Fukuro reports to Bane " I’ve found where the bear lives I would have continued bringing him to justice myself but he is no longer alone." He gestures to a near by cave. Null goes to investigate, extremely interested in this bear. Inside the small cave there are 6 skeletons sitting around a camp fire, the bear is walking around splitting the bread among the skeletons. There is also the skeleton of a horse attached to what looks like used to be a colourful cart and each of the skeletons are wearing tattered clothes which also seem quite colourful. Getting closer voices could be heard. A skeleton on the right says "Thank you Oso I was starving to death” another skeleton thanks the bear, none, however, move at all. Null talks to the bear, whose name is Oso. It appears that Oso is talking for the skeletons through telepathic means. She asks if he might join them in exploring the temple, she gestures that his friends might need some…rest. Bane also invites the crazy little owl man Fukuro, who quickly agrees and perches himself on Banes shoulder.

Adventure! Well rested and with new friends the group heads into the temple. Right away they are met with a magical darkness, no one can see through it. Bane decides that they are being too cautious and runs head first down the stairs into the darkness with Arabella on his head. At the bottom of the stairs his face meets a solid wall. It’s lighter down here and he can just read the Draconic symbols on the wall. This temple is a tomb, and it warns that no one should enter. Well that is the perfect excuse to enter then! They enter a door down the hall way and are met with skeletons and cobwebs. Fukuro states that these are the last people that tried to escape. Arabella lights to cobwebs on fire, clearing the hall! Suspicious of what might be waiting for them, the group carefully walks down the hall in single file. As they do so walls slide down from the celling infront and behind them, as they hit the floor the walls begin to slide towards them. Arabella tries to find a top to these walls to find an exit, she finds a crack in the ceiling instead. Null breaks the ceiling with a sharp sound blast and a pipe falls out. They use the pipe to brace the walls. Arabella and Fukuro fly into the ceiling to find a way to stop the walls. They shout back that the pipes must be powering the walls. At random Null shoots down one of the pipes with her shortbow. The walls screech to a stop. Now they are stuck. Arabella flies through the ceiling to the other side and finds a lever, she releases the group. They cautiously enter the next hallway.

This hallway appears to be brand new. Its tile floor glistens in the torch light. The walls are lined with Rococo style paintings depicting Dragonborns of high standing. The hall has a winding path of red tiles that lead to a statue of a four armed Dragonborn. Disaster Duo Bane and Null jump onto the red tiles and begin walking along it’s path. Occasionally tiles give way but it’s nothing they couldn’t handle. The group follows. At the end of the hallway they could see that there were four paintings around the statue. One for life, light, death and darkness. Arabella, Bane and Null investigate the statue. It appears as if the hands can move. This must be the puzzle to continue through the temple. Bashanu figured the statue puzzle out and the statue turned to the left and revealed a square room with two other door ways. This room is also heavily decorated and looks untouched. The group goes through the door on the left as it was the side of the ‘Life and Light’ paintings from the statue. It appears as if this was a good choice. They enter another room, this with a statue of a robed Dragonborn. In each corner is a object on a coloured rune; A wand, a flower, a sword, and a spear. Our heroes are tired at this time and Arabella and Null pick items at random and place them in the statues hand. They have chosen poorly. Their minds become dominated by the statue. They attack their companions and fortunately from fatigue they both do little damage. Bowan figures the the puzzle out at this point and puts the sword in the statues hand. Suddenly a portal opens up!

Where will this portal lead? Will our heroes explode from so much awesome adventuring? Why are there suddenly 3 new companions?! Tune in and find out!

#26 - Duuude, Duuunes


Our heroes are now ready to take on the desert! Wait…no…Bane has a new plan. They first stop off at a small shop called Crazy Dave’s. Crazy Dave carries a variety of items including a ritual book called ‘Endure Elements.’ Banes plan is for Null to cast this ritual in order to help the group get through the desert with little worry for the scorching heat. And now it is finally time to head out into the desert!

Our heroes start out into the desert late morning, and after an hour or so Null casts the endure elements ritual and it goes well, our heroes no longer feel the pressing heat, it becomes a rather pleasant day! (Much to the displeasure of the story gods) 3 hours pass and the heroes see a sandstorm in the distance, however it seems to be moving away from them. 5 hours into the journey and our heroes stop to collect their barrings. After 7 hours they begin to see hills and mountains. Around this time they begin to feel the sand rumble beneath them, at first it’s just a little bit but then it becomes evident that something is moving towards them fast. The sand sinks! Bane escapes the sinking sand and Cade follows right behind him. Bashanu almost makes it but the sand sinks under his feet and he slides back. The rest of the party is sent to the bottom of a sand bowl, stuck up to their waists in sand. Arabella attempts to fly out of the sand sink but as she does a giant sand worm appears from the ground and smacks her back into the group. Null plucks her out of the sand and puts her on her head as another sand worm makes an appearance. A difficult battle begins! One sand worm sand blasts the stuck heroes and they become mostly blind to their surroundings. Early in the battle the group sees the pay off of Cade’s training, he can now fly short distances! (What kind of bs is this?) As the battle goes on the heroes learn that the worms are not able to see them and are only able to attack if the sense their movement. So the tides turn as our heroes learn to not move around and cause confusion.

Once the worms were slain, our heroes continue on for a little longer and find themselves at the temple the Dwarf was looking for! The temple is in ruins and among them is a statue of a Dragonborn, he wears a crest that Bane recognizes from the map they acquired long ago. They set up camp, they need to heal their injuries before running into a temple that is clearly going to be full of traps. As a Dwarf who is skilled in dungeoning and treasure finding, Bowan is beside himself for this adventure.

What will our heroes find? What sort of craziness will happen now that they have reached level 6? Tune in and find out!

#25 - We did some stuff...and things.


All bow to the tiny god of chaos, Arabella! Or at least all those who are Orcs. Bashanu captures the tiny pixie in a jar so she can’t influence the Orcs too much. The heroes finally get to bring the ranchers daughter back home. A very lovely family reunion happens in the middle of a butcher shop full of dead animals. The rancher is so over joyed he rewards our heroes with half a cow! It’s fully prepared and ready for their journey into the desert. Bashanu puts dibs on the ribs, which is odd since he doesn’t have a mouth…

Onward to handing in the other side quest! Along the way to the sheriffs office, the dwarf Afar spots them and asks if they brought the lamp. They tell him they haven’t even gone in the direction yet, but assure him that it will be collected. The continue on. At the sheriffs office, Grayland Gibbens thanks the heroes for solving the Orc and Minotaur problem. As thanks he gives the group some money, Null offers her share to Bashanu because he fought the Eye of Gruumsh. The sheriff also offers Jimmy’s services to the group for their adventure into the desert to fight a dragon. There is talk that the city should form an alliance with the Minotaurs, and Jimmy is sent out with a message to hold a meeting at the Ranch. The heroes will go to the meeting as a neutral party.

While waiting for the meeting to happen the group pops back over to the ship to see how the training of some of the crew members is going. Golin and Garur have both outfitted themselves in heavier leather armor and Bjorn is just being Bjorn. Everyone seems to be doing well and the ship has never looked better with a kraken skull on the front and a new ballista on the deck.

The group heads out to the meeting location, there they find the Minotaur chief and a few of his tribe. Grayland Gibbens is already there with Jimmy. The talks go over smoothly and a good arrangement between the city and the tribe is made.

Will our heroes do more this week? Will they actually go into the desert and look for the temple and the dragon?

#24 - We have a Bashanu


At first light our heroes set out with the tribe of Minotaurs to travel across the desert to the orc camp. Part way through the morning Arabella spots something in the distance, it’s tough to tell but it looks like a fairly large group, possibly orcs. After a quick discussion the group sends a small envoy to try and talk to the orcs. No one is sure why there was a sudden change between ’Let’s run in and kill the orcs!" to “Let’s talk things out.” The Chief of the Minotaurs goes with Bashanu and Null. As they approach the group they come to see that it’s just a bunch of rocks and cactuses. They return to the group and poke a bit of fun at Arabellas expense. They continue onwards and approach a plateau not far from the orc camp. Bane and Bowan want to prepare for the worst, they begin setting up defences and Bowan starts making a portable ballista. The peace envoy sets out again.

They approach the gate. They call to the orc on the wall and ask to meet with the Chief. The gates open, a few members of the tribe walk forward, following the orc Chief out of the camp. By his side is an Eye of Gruumsh. This feared orc seems none to happy to be talking to this strange group. Null asks for peace, and asks if there is any deal to be made between the Orcs and Minotaurs. The Chief goes to speak but the Eye silences him. The Eye is annoyed, he wants no peace, but would take more of the Minotaurs lands and a large number of Minotaurs as slaves in exchange for being left alone. The Minotaur Chief is not pleased, and the group says that they will have an answer by sunset.

Back at their temporary camp, work on the ballista continues. The group talks about what offers could be made and it appears that none are good. They try a new plan, they will challenge the Eye to one-on-one combat. Bashanu will represent the Minotaurs. While this battle is happening Arabella will sneak into the camp again and free the Minotaurs just in case Bashanu falls.

Back to the Orcs! The Eye accepts the challenge, and it is agreed that if he loses his life the orcs will leave this land. The battle begins! The Orcs and Minotaurs circle around the fight, cheering for their side. The Eye is quite powerful but some of his powers rely on physic abilities, which are useless against Bashanu because he is a Shard mind. As the battle rages Arabella sneaks into camp and begins freeing the Minotaurs. after untying a few Orcs can be heard approaching the hut, two Minotaurs pull the orcs into the hut and slay them, hiding their bodies. The battle continues, Bashanu has taken quite a bit of a beating but he is still fighting strong. He finally slays the Eye of Gruumsh, just as the Minotaurs storm out the side of the camp. Arabella covers herself in Orc blood and causes a distraction. She flails around wildly. The group don’t acknowledge she is with them, to keep from the Orc attacking them out right for freeing slaves. The Orc Chief approaches them, he thanks Bashanu for killing him. it appears that this Eye of Gruumsh appeared one day and took over the camp, the Chief was powerless to do anything against this. Apparently there have been many Eyes of Gruumsh appearing lately and taking over all Orc tribes in the desert.

A pact is made between the two tribes and for once our heroes solve a problem without killing too many people! How long will this last? Was this our heroes monthly allowance for a semi-peaceful end?


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